Have you ever walked into a food court and wondered what to eat? Yea, it kinda happened to me many times and i seriously, i am super frustrated with it. Seriously, WTF man, Singapore is supposed to have the widest variety of food ranging from Indian curry to Italian pastas to FUCKING CHEESE FRIES from KFC. And yet despite all the wide ranges, we still sometimes stand infront of the counter stonned and oblivious to what our stomach wants. But i dont blame anyone, since after all, we are spoiled for choices in life and often, we take them for granted. Take a fat kid for example, u can often find one or two of them in Mac stuffing their mouth full of the salted french fries and chomping down on a MEGAMAC. (WHAT A MAC FAT ASHHHHHHH!!!). Does he actually take his time to enjoy the food? Studies have shown that 4684597 out of the 56716771657.25 fat people observed in a fast food joint that has an in built library actually dont chew their food. (GOD GAVE US TEETH NOT FOR PLAYING A PLAYSTATION 3.64, BUT TO CHEW). This is sad, really.
So, for this post, i have decided to talk about some foods that one should actually try at least once in their 10 lifetimes. Below this will be a general place and things that must try one.
Food Court
1)Dont fucking waste your time going to food courts, it cost almost the same as a meal in a fast food restraunt and its more crowded and messy. But if you must, the list is the same as the one stated in the hawker section.
Hawker
1)Chicken rice (OMG, if you have read this blog and have not gone to try the chicken rice at Katong shopping Centre within 3 days, go FUCK yourself)
2)the $2 nasi lemak meal (the chicken although is fatty, its gd. mmmmmmmmmmm, and also budget)
3)Fishball noodle (for those who love to have no ketchup in their noodle, i recomend going to the coffee stall outside my house, they serve one of the most magical fishball noodle i have ever tasted)
4)Laksa (again, if you have read this blog and have not gone to katong to try the laksa, go FUCK yourself again)
5)Fried Carrot Cake (its good no matter where you go)
Fast Food Restraunts
1)BBQ Turkey Bacon Double (Burger King) (BACON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
2)Cheese Fries (KFC) (cheese is fattening, but is still good...)
3)McSpicy (MACs, DUH!) (the old patties that they used were good, now the new ones are simply crap)
4)The Chicken Pieces in Long John Silver (kinda stupid, LJS is known for their batter fried fish, but apparently, the chicken kicks ass!)
5)The Meatball marimana (subway) (did i spell it correctly?) (good healthy old fashioned sandwiches)
6)Onion Rings (Burger King) (do i actually need to explain?)
7)French Fries (MACs) (simple unhealthy salty strips of fried potato sticks)
8)Oreo Mc Flurry (MACs) (mmmmmmmm, oreo)
9)Chocolate Sundae (MACs) (i think eating 5 cups of these in a row will give you a heart attack)
10)Everything in Carl's Jr
11)Quad Stacker (Burger King) (HOLY SHIT MAN, PRAISE THE LORD THAT SUCH A MAGICAL ITEM ACTUALLY EXIST. GOD FUCKING BLESS BURGER KING! GO TRY THE FREAKING QUAD STACKER, ITS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, I CANT BELIEVE IT ACTUALLY EXISTED IN THIS LIFETIME. 4 BEEF PATTIES COMPRESSED WITH 2 LAYERS OF TURKEY BACON DIPPED IN BARBECUE SAUCE AND FINISHED WITH A GRILLED BUN. YOU CAN SERIOUSLY GO FUCK YOURSELF A THRID TIME IF YOU HAVE NOT TRIED THIS ITEM)
Restraunts
1)All items in a place called ASTONS
2)The pastas in pasta mania (its good in general, but kinda expensive)
3)Almost all the possible pizza combinations in pizza hut
4)The rest is all chinese food in chinese restraunts (go hunt them yourself you lazy ass)
Home
1)Cereal (crunchy and milky, mmmmmmmm)
2)Seaweed (magical strips of paper)
3)BACON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Dear God, i thank you for one of your most marvelous creations, the pig for all its wonderful food it has provided for us. Amen)
Anywhere else
1)Blood (blood always taste good, i am not kidding!)
2)Egg shells (CRUNCHY!)
3)Raw polar bear meat (CUZ THATS WHAT SPARTANS EAT!)
4)Honey Milk Tea (CUZ THATS WHAT SPARTANS DRINK!)
5)All forms of alcohol
All the above stated are things that you as person should eat at least once in your lifetime, and seriously if you didnt yet, GO FUCK YOURSELF A FORTH TIME, ONLY THIS TIME GO ASK A BANGLA WORKER TO HELP YOU. I would like to end this post with a word of advice : CHEW YOUR FOOD FAT BOY!!
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